Am I the Coach for You?

I am a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.

Byron Katie

The other day, a client asked me: “Carmia, what’s your story?” and I didn’t know how to answer it.

Has that ever happened to you?

Growing up, I was always plagued by these kinds of questions: “What significant contribution will I make in the world”, “Who am I?”, “Who do I want to be?”, but now I don’t really know how to answer these questions.

The reason why I don’t know how to answer it is because I don’t attach myself to my story. Yes, we all have a “story”. One which society motivates you to define because apparently it will brand you better, sell you to prospective clients or give you clarity around your goals. Although I most certainly have a history, I try not to attach myself to it.

Just like you, I’ve had my fair share of trauma and tragedy, successes, failures, lemon juice making experiences! I would most definitely not be the woman I am today nor the woman I’m becoming if I didn’t live through my past or have certain desires for the future.

I used to have a limiting belief that my past actions, successes, failures and experiences determined who I am and who I should become.

In search for finding my true authentic self, I’ve found myself confronted with an unraveling knowing:

I am the present moment. All that I am, have, feel and see is who I am in the present moment. I cannot change the past or determine the future but I have the power to master the now. It’s freed me from limiting beliefs. I should probably mention that by doing this I’m not disregarding my defining moments.

However, this is especially challenging because, as a life coach, potential clients seek resemblances between their background and mine when working with me.

I see many life coaches branding themselves around their stories and how their traumatic pasts have lead them to a renewed sense of self which ultimately lead them to becoming the perfect coach.

The thing is that a coach’s role in your coaching partnership has nothing to do with the coach. It’s about you. The coach should be able to coach you based on significant and successful coaching methods, not from their personal experiences. Otherwise we’d all be able to coach each other.

My coaching practice is most certainly inspired by where I come from and where I want to go, but it has one sole purpose: to guide you to a deeper understanding of yourself through professional, trusted and proven coaching methods.

That being said- am I the coach for you?


In closing, I urge you: give up defining yourself- to yourself or to others. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their drawback. Living up to an image that you have of yourself or that other people have of you is inauthentic living.

When you don’t cover up the world with words and labels, a sense of the miraculous returns to your life that was lost a long time ago when humanity became possessed with self-image.


Go well!


You are Loved,


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