Do you know that voice? That little soft, coarse voice that whispers to you, “Who are you to…”?
“Who are you to create the life You were born to live?”
“Who are you to be happy?”
“Who are you to shine?”
Who are you not to?
From what I’ve experienced, self-love is about forgiving and accepting yourself with all your faults and mistakes, and sprinkling it with sweet tenderness. Self-love is that voice transforming into a loving and supportive reminder of your true and wondrous worth.
As Marianne Williamson said:
Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here…
In our natural state, we are glorious beings. In the world of illusion, we are lost and imprisoned, slaves to our appetites and our will to false power.
Fill you mind with the meaningless stimuli of a world preoccupied with meaningless things, and it will not be easy to feel peace in your heart.
In other words, society has programmed you to think that your worth is found in the idols of our culture: technology, status, youth, “likes”, sex, power, money and image. Then, how do we choose love if it may seem that we’re drowning in fear?
Self-love is the one decision you’ll make that will affect every area of your life: your mindset, your relationships, your work, your beliefs and your future. It can even catapult your beautiful self into the lap of the life you’ve always imagined.
I often get asked: “But Carmia, how do I learn to love myself?” and “How can I ever be worthy of love?” or “Where do I begin?”
Ok, let’s starts there.
Begin with shifting your perspective.
Feeling worthy requires you to look at yourself in a loving light, enfolding yourself in gratitude. You don’t have to be what the world expects of you. Your worth lies in your true nature. In your values, your dignity and your desires. What’s holding you back isn’t the love you wish you received in your past but the love you’re not giving in the present.
Read on for tips to discover seeing yourself in a loving light.
The 13 Steps That Worked for Me:
1. Start your day with love, not technology. Raise your self-love levels by reminding yourself of your awesomeness before you get out of bed. Repeat a mantra or choose a quality that you’ll affirm throughout the day. Better yet, look in the mirror and tell yourself what you find sexy!
2. Forgive. Forgive yourself over and over again. For big things and little things. It will teach you to accept and be patient and learn from your faults. In turn, it’ll make it easier to forgive others too.
3. Be patient. Sometimes it will feel as though you just want to surrender to the old self-destructive and unloving you, but time and space to heal are exactly the right ingredients for creating the sweeter you. Tolerate your faults and you’ll learn to embrace them.
4. Treat your body like a temple. Eat as healthily as you can and stop counting calories. Drink enough water to stay energised. Spend time outdoors. Touch it lovingly. Dress it with breathable fabrics. Pray. Breathe. At least try!
5. Make time for your passion. We don’t always have time to fit hobbies or personal interests into our busy schedules, but it’s important to make time for it. Once per week, spend a couple of hours focusing on your passion- whether it be a dance or art class, drawing, surfing, baking cookies, or writing. It will remind your of your unique gifts.
6. Be still. Stillness is the key to unlocking your truth. Spend 5 or 20 minutes daily in peace and quiet. Whether it is meditating in the morning, walking in nature or taking five minutes to take ten deep breaths after lunch, it will improve your self-awareness, give you energy and reveal your personal truth.
7. Write down your personal goals and strive to conquer them. There is nothing as empowering as achieving a goal however big or small. When you’re not as successful as you envisioned, continue to acknowledge your success. In other words, measure your goals based on effort, not outcome.
8. Speak your truth. Say your say and stop worrying what other’s think about it. What’s important is what you believe in and stand for. Start by bringing up conversation topics you like and just let it flow. Expressing yourself will lift the limiting beliefs you have of yourself, which will make all the difference.
9. Practice gratitude. A gratitude routine will raise your vibes even higher and only manifest goodness into you life. This requires you to stop blaming regretful moments in your past and instead see them as learning curves. I suggest writing down five things you are grateful for every day and see how this transforms your mindset.
10. Choose yourself. Everyday is a choice to love yourself. Don’t expect your journey to continue flourishing if you compromise your own needs and desires. It is a choice and soon enough it will transform into a lifestyle.
11. Have fun. Laughter in very important and so is adrenaline! Find the positive in every situation in your life and you’ll see others becoming addicted to your outlook on life.
12. Realise that you were made by the Creator. You were created out of love and pure intention. You were planned and your arrival anxiously anticipated… You are a miracle. When you realise this you will understand the deep value of your life.
13. Get honest. Let go of your numbing habits. Over-eating, binge drinking, drug abuse and self-loathing all contribute to resentment and unbalance. Get honest with yourself about why you’re practicing these unhealthy habits and re-evaluate your game plan.
To end off, here is a mantra you can repeat as often as you like to train yourself into choosing love over fear:
I am enough.
You are loved,
PS: Pretty please comment below with your thoughts on self-love. I’d love to hear what you have to say!